Does More Than Dry

This is my mantra. Every time I try to cook the smoke alarm goes off. Seriously. Every time. Plus when any man asks if I'm gonna cook for him I always say " Sure. What kind of cereal do you like?" I think I'll frame this towel.

Others from this collection include....

I said please

got it?!

High Five!

Everyone......gimme a high five! Best drink stirrer to celebrate, well, anything. You can even give me a low five. I'll take it. I'm celebrating right now.

Spoiled

Just in time for back to school. Never get your lunch stolen again. These brilliant anti theft lunch bags are a great deterrent to anyone looking to swipe your sandwich. These bags have green splotches printed on both sides to make your food look moldy. Reusable & recyclable.

Hide Your Nuts

Are you tired of all those naked squirrels running around offending your eyes? Now there's a solution. Squirrel Underpants. Never look at a naked squirrel again.One size fits most squirrels with a 3inch elastic waistband. Might look good on your hamster too!

Mucho Macho

Move over Rock n' Sock em' Robots, here come thumb wrestling masks! Live out your Luchador fantasy & kick some butt. Two to a package. Fits most thumbs.

Baby Wigs

the donald

No more bald babies!! Make your little bundle of joy look like a celebrity. Purchase these at Amazon. Four styles to choose from.......

Lil' Kim? Hummmm.....this looks familiar.

Samuel Jackson, one bad motherfu&%er.

No woman, no cry.

Bag Reputation

Say it loud & be proud!

Maybe I am.

What's in there?

Who cares about your bag reputation? These sweet bags are nylon, have an adjustable shoulder strap & two inside pockets for all your paraphernalia.

Wet Dog

Practical & funny. As we get a little sprinkle here in August, I'm thinking this dog umbrella is a good idea. My poor little dog was seriously whining at me today to go for our walk. I can only imagine what it must be like to have to poop & it's raining in your bathroom. No fun. This leash has an attached umbrella which attaches to your dogs collar. It's also see through on top so you can keep an eye on fido. Let's walk!

Finally

I need like 500 of these. Enough said.

Don't Walk......Sit

I absolutely heart this chair. Made from authentic New York City street signs. They actually light up and can be turned on & off with a remote. Can be ordered in original scruffy finish or brand new paint. Unfortunately it's $3,700. I think I'll go cut down my own signs & pay the vandalism fees. It's probably cheaper.

OW!!!!

I don't know about any of you, but these days I feel a tremendous need to throw things. Since I have completely destroyed all plates, vases & picture frames within an arms length I needed something new. My prayers have been answered with Throwing Gravel. Awesome. I bet it'll even sting a little. This product is by artist Rory Skagen. Make sure you check out all his other items for sale.

What a Shock!

Move over Operation, here comes Shocking Autopsy. In this version you have to remove the weapons stuck in this poor schlubs body. Wonder what he did to deserve it? Unlike the original Operation game just buzzing if you touched the sides with the tweezers, this one gives the participant an actual shock. Thankfully, you can turn it off & replace it with a scream if you're to chicken. Bok. Bok.

Eat Here

yes I do!

Spice up your boring lunch with these cool brown paper sacks. Lots of designs to choose from, but these are a few of my faves. Others include pirates, skulls, & zombies. They will also print your own logo. Sweet huh?

protect your lunch

just don't leave a floater

Yummm!

Never get out your frying pan again. No grease spatters to worry about. Make it naked! Enjoy all the flavor & health benefits of bacon without the work. Squeez Bacon is 100% bacon paste. No preservatives or additives. Imagine how much tastier everything would be with bacon on it. Is your mouth watering yet? If not check out other ways to enjoy this delectable delight here. You won't be sorry.

Zombie Attack

Beware all teddy bears! The zombies are loose!

I keep seeing zombies everywhere. In my dreams, on the street corners & even one at the bar. This one from Think Geek may be a little dead, but still adorable. You can pull off his arms & legs & remove his brain. Pull his torso apart to reveal all his innards. Cool huh? Perfect gift for any child harassing the cats in the neighborhood.

Put Your Head On My Pillow

to the point

Being the interior designer that I am I couldn't resist these pillowcases. Functional, quirky & oh so cool. Other designs include I heart you & aviator sunglasses. Check em' out!

nice to know it's not on the kitchen floor

Suck It!

I think I'm in love. Booze & candy! Candy & booze! Wheee! I'm dizzy just thinking about it. At lollyphile you can pick from 5 flavors. There's absinthe, burbon, white russian ( for all you Big Lebowski fans), maple bacon ( with real bits of bacon) & wasabi ginger. There are also variety packs. $10 ill get you 4 hefty pops.


ps. - my birthday is next month

Now That's Ripe!

We've all done it. Dropped a stinky one, or one that just lingers. Most people don't carry an air freshener around with em'. Problem solved. Farty lites. One strike of the match & no one will know it was you. Blame others with confidence. Many styles & sayings to choose from!

How To Keep Your Husband

I don't know about any of you feminist women out there, but I'd love to be a housewife in the 50's. I wouldn't have to worry about finding a job or how I'm ever gonna pay off that student loan. I'd love to cook, clean & service my man all in high heels. This apron is a reminder of how sweet it all could've been. All I'd have to do was follow a few of the simple rules printed on it, such as..."Watch Your Weight" & "Don't Nag". Guess I'll never find a man.

This Sucks!

Every once in awhile I come across a product that will make me stop & say out loud "What the f*#k?!!" This is one such thing. I will not tell you where to buy it because it just freakin' horrifies me.....& not in a good way.




This, my friends is not your ordinary baby doll. We've all seen the ones that cry, poop, eat & pee. This one takes the mommy role one step further. It breastfeeds. You heard me.....breastfeeds. A spanish toymaker has come up with Bebe Gloton, which translates to "gluttonous baby". Doll comes with a halter top for the girl to wear that has flowers for nipples & comes undone just like a nursing bra would. EEEEEKKKKK! The doll makes sucking noises & it's mouth moves when raised to the flowers. Double EEEEEKKKKK! Don't believe me? Click here to watch it in action, but don't say I didn't warn you. I'm gonna go have a drink.

Biology 101

Creepy? Yes! Cool? Yes! What a conversation piece! Coolest biology project ever. Handmade to order in silk/wool. Rat also available.

Sins

7 deadly sins

Takeing something pretty & turning it into something rude....my favorite kind of thing. These plates are made by Trixiedelicious & found on Etsy. Freakin' fabulous!!

my kind of plate

perfect gift for your husband

WAR

War. What is it good for?

Apparently making really cool bowls. Remember when you were a kid & tried melting your army men? Ok, maybe I just pretended they were Barbies minions, but I digress. This someone special - Dominic Wilcox - took it to a whole new level. It is really & truly made of melted plastic soldiers. Freakin' cool! The bowl above represents the Battle of Waterloo. Half British & half French soldiers.

English Civil War

Zulu Civil War

Maybe just plain ol' war

It's rumored that black ninjas & silver knights also exist.

Mean Cards

Glad I don't have em'.

They say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Well, I have to admit....I am a greeting card junkie. Bring on the intervention!

These mean cards are by an artist who lost her job, apartment & studio all within a week. Sound familiar anyone? Click here to see the rest of her story. It's inspiring.

Of course.

That's what they all say.

My nephews have turned out just fine.

Some cards are blank inside & some offer even more meanness. I'd love to list em' all as I laugh at every single one. Yea, I'm mean like that. You can also buy 8 1/2 x 11 prints of select cards. I'm gonna make a mural in the bathroom with em'.

Also, check out her blog,The Daily Peril. Filled with fabulous stories and drawings.